Songs About Losing a Daughter

There is no song that says all of it. Losing a daughter rearranges everything — the calendar, the house, the way you answer when someone asks how many children you have. No three-minute recording is going to carry that.

But some songs hold a little of it. They give the ache somewhere to go for a few minutes. Parents find themselves playing the same one on the drive home from work, or at the kitchen sink, or standing in a room they cannot quite bring themselves to change. That is not a small thing.

What follows is a gathering of songs families have turned to, grouped loosely so you can find the corner that fits. Take what helps. Leave the rest. There is no wrong choice here.

Songs a father often reaches for

Some of the most-played songs in this category were written by fathers, and it shows in the details they notice.

• "Butterfly Kisses" — Bob Carlisle. The one nearly everyone thinks of first. It was written for a living daughter's growing up, which is exactly why it lands so hard afterward: every milestone in it becomes a memory instead of a plan.
• "My Little Girl" — Tim McGraw. Plainspoken and warm. Good for a slideshow of early photographs.
• "You'll Always Be My Baby" — Sara Evans. Written from a parent's side, looking back across the whole span of a childhood.
• "Cinderella" — Steven Curtis Chapman. A song about dancing with a daughter while there is still time. Chapman later lost a daughter himself, and many families find that history makes the song more honest rather than harder.
• "There Goes My Life" — Kenny Chesney. About a father whose whole world reorganized around a girl he did not expect.

Songs a mother often reaches for

• "In My Daughter's Eyes" — Martina McBride. Direct and unhurried. Often used as guests are seated.
• "Wind Beneath My Wings" — Bette Midler. A standard for a reason. Works when the daughter was the strong one, the funny one, the one who held people up.
• "The Rose" — Bette Midler. Quieter and less specific, which some parents prefer. It leaves room.
• "Never Alone" — Jim Brickman with Lady A. Gentle, low-key, easy to speak over if someone is reading at the same time.
• "Slipping Through My Fingers" — ABBA. About the ordinary mornings you did not know to memorize.

When she was still a child

These need a lighter hand. Softer arrangements, fewer words, nothing that asks a room to hold more than it can.

• "Tears in Heaven" — Eric Clapton. Written after the loss of his young son. Restrained, and it stays restrained the whole way through.
• "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" — Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. The ukulele version. Familiar enough that children at the service will recognize it too.
• "Baby Mine" — from Dumbo, often the Alison Krauss recording. A lullaby, which is sometimes exactly right.
• "Blackbird" — The Beatles. Short, and it does not overexplain itself.
• "Dancing in the Sky" — Dani and Lizzy. Written plainly about someone who has died. Some parents find it comforting; others find it too literal. Listen to it alone before you decide.

When she was grown

A daughter who was also a friend, a mother, a colleague, a person with a whole adult life. The music can be less tender and more her.

• "Fields of Gold" — Eva Cassidy. Warm rather than mournful.
• "I Will Remember You" — Sarah McLachlan.
• "Landslide" — Fleetwood Mac. About time and change, which suits a life that had shape and direction.
• "Vincent" — Don McLean. Often chosen for a daughter who was artistic, sensitive, or a little outside the usual lines.
• Whatever she actually loved. If she played one album constantly, that album carries more of her than anything on this page. Families are frequently surprised by how right an unexpected song feels.

Songs of faith and rest

• "It Is Well With My Soul." Written by a father after losing four daughters at sea.
• "Amazing Grace." Bagpipes, a single voice, or an instrumental version if a full congregation feels like too much.
• "I Can Only Imagine" — MercyMe.
• "Borning Cry" — John Ylvisaker. Traces a life from birth onward. Quiet and less familiar than the others, which some families like.
• "Be Not Afraid." Frequently chosen for Catholic services.

A few practical notes

Listen to any song all the way through before the service. Verses change direction, and you do not want to discover that in front of a room.

Choose fewer songs than you think you need. Two or three, well placed, carry more than six.

Ask someone else to handle the audio. On the day, you should not be the person managing a laptop.

And if a song undoes you in the car, that is not a reason to rule it out. It may be the truest one you have. It just may not be the one to play from a podium.

When no song quite fits

Some families work through every list they can find and still come away empty. The songs are beautiful, but they are about someone else's daughter. They do not know her name, or the way she laughed at her own jokes before she finished them, or the summer she decided she was going to learn the guitar and mostly did.

That is the gap a custom memorial song is meant to fill. At Their Life Song, families share the stories and details that made her who she was, and we write an original song from them — her name, her habits, the small specific things only the people who loved her would know. Some families play it at the service. Others keep it for themselves. Either is fine.

However you get there, the point is the same: something to hold onto, in her own particular shape.

Related reading

• Custom Memorial Songs: The Complete Guide
• Songs About Losing a Son
• Gentle, Meaningful Memorial Ideas for a Child Who Died