Funeral Songs for Mom: Music That Sounds Like Her

Somewhere between the phone calls and the paperwork, someone will ask you what music you want at the service. It is a small question with a lot of weight in it. The songs are the part people will remember feeling, long after they have forgotten what the program looked like.

There is no correct list. What follows are songs families actually choose for a mother's funeral or memorial, grouped so you can find the section that fits her and skip the rest.

Start with what she actually listened to

Before you look at any list, including this one, think about what was playing in her kitchen. The hymn she sang along to badly. The record she put on when she was cleaning. The song she turned up in the car.

A song that was truly hers will do more in three minutes than a song chosen because it is the right kind of sad. If you already know what it is, you can stop reading here. If you don't, or if her favorite song would be too much for the room, keep going.

Timeless songs that suit almost any mother's service

These are the ones that work when you are not sure — familiar, gentle, and not tied to any one era or faith.

• "Wind Beneath My Wings" — Bette Midler
• "In My Life" — The Beatles
• "Somewhere Over the Rainbow / What a Wonderful World" — Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
• "What a Wonderful World" — Louis Armstrong
• "Unforgettable" — Nat King Cole
• "Fields of Gold" — Eva Cassidy
• "I'll Be Seeing You" — Billie Holiday
• "Bridge Over Troubled Water" — Simon & Garfunkel
• "Landslide" — Fleetwood Mac

Songs from a daughter

These carry the particular ache of a daughter who has lost the first woman she ever knew.

• "The Best Day" — Taylor Swift
• "Because You Loved Me" — Celine Dion
• "Goodbye's the Saddest Word" — Celine Dion
• "You Can't Lose Me" — Faith Hill
• "Mama's Song" — Carrie Underwood
• "Mother Like Mine" — The Band Perry
• "Coat of Many Colors" — Dolly Parton

Songs from a son

• "A Song for Mama" — Boyz II Men
• "Simple Man" — Lynyrd Skynyrd
• "The Living Years" — Mike + The Mechanics
• "Mama" — Il Divo
• "Dear Mama" — 2Pac (often better suited to the gathering afterward than to the service itself)

Hymns and songs of faith

If she was a churchgoer, the hymnal is usually the safest ground — these are songs a whole room can sing without needing the words in front of them.

• "Amazing Grace"
• "How Great Thou Art"
• "It Is Well With My Soul"
• "On Eagle's Wings"
• "Precious Lord, Take My Hand"
• "In the Garden"
• "Ave Maria" — Schubert
• "I Can Only Imagine" — MercyMe
• "Go Rest High on That Mountain" — Vince Gill

Country songs

• "I Hope You Dance" — Lee Ann Womack
• "When I Get Where I'm Going" — Brad Paisley
• "Angels Among Us" — Alabama
• "Softly and Tenderly" — Alan Jackson
• "'Til You Can't" — Cody Johnson
• "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away" — Justin Moore

Gentler contemporary songs

• "Supermarket Flowers" — Ed Sheeran
• "See You Again" — Wiz Khalifa featuring Charlie Puth
• "Fix You" — Coldplay
• "Hallelujah" — Jeff Buckley or Leonard Cohen
• "Rivers and Roads" — The Head and the Heart
• "Angels" — Robbie Williams

Something brighter for the end

Many families want the last song to lift the room a little, especially if she was a lively person who would have hated a mournful send-off.

• "Here Comes the Sun" — The Beatles
• "Lovely Day" — Bill Withers
• "Three Little Birds" — Bob Marley
• "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" — Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
• "Dancing Queen" — ABBA
• "Sweet Caroline" — Neil Diamond

Instrumental music for the prelude and the slideshow

You will need more music than you think. The twenty minutes while people are arriving, and the photo slideshow, both go better with something quiet underneath that doesn't compete with the pictures.

• "Clair de Lune" — Debussy
• "Gymnopedie No. 1" — Satie
• "Nimrod" from the Enigma Variations — Elgar
• "Canon in D" — Pachelbel
• "Ashokan Farewell" — Jay Ungar

How many songs do you actually need?

Most services use three to five. A typical shape looks like this:

• Prelude — instrumental, playing as people arrive and find seats
• Opening — something familiar that everyone knows, often a hymn
• Reflection or slideshow — the emotional center, usually the most personal song
• Closing — something with a little light in it, played as people leave

If you only have the energy to choose one, choose the reflection song. That is the one people will carry out with them.

A few practical things worth knowing

Ask the funeral director or the church about the sound setup before you commit. Some churches allow only sacred music, and some venues can't play from a phone. Bring the songs on more than one device, or hand them over in advance on a flash drive.

Listen all the way through to anything you haven't heard in a while. Verses you have forgotten have a way of landing differently on the day.

And if there is live music, keep it simple. A single voice with a piano, or one guitar, carries further in a quiet room than anything more elaborate.

When no song quite fits

Sometimes you go through every list and nothing lands. The songs are about mothers in general, and she was not a mother in general. She had a laugh you could pick out of a crowded room, and a saying nobody outside the family would understand, and a way of showing up that no ballad was ever going to name.

That is the reason some families have a song written for her instead — one that uses her actual name, her actual stories, the small details only the people in that room would recognize. It is what we do at Their Life Song, working from what a family tells us about the person they loved. It isn't the right choice for everyone, and a well-chosen favorite song is a beautiful thing on its own. But if you have been searching for a song about her and keep finding songs about someone else's mother, it is worth knowing the option exists.

Whatever you choose, choose it gently, and don't let anyone rush you. It only has to sound like her.

Related reading

• Songs About Losing a Mother, and Why They Help
• How to Choose Music for a Funeral or Memorial Service
• Custom Memorial Songs: The Complete Guide