JournalJuly 10, 2026
How to Choose Music for a Funeral or Memorial Service
Music sets the tone of a service more than almost anything else in the room. Here's how to choose it thoughtfully.
Start with how they actually listened to music
Not what genre they belonged to, but how they used it. Was music always playing in the kitchen? Did they have one song they played loud in the car and never explained why? Did they sing, badly, on purpose, to make people laugh? The music that fits a service isn't always the music someone would have called their favorite — it's the music that shows up in the memories people already have of them.
Match the music to the moment, not just the person
A service usually has a few distinct moments, and they don't all need the same kind of song. A processional can hold something quieter and more contemplative. A moment of reflection — especially alongside photos — often works best with something instrumental or gently paced, so it doesn't compete with what people are looking at. A recessional can carry more warmth, even something with a little joy in it, if that fits who they were.
Common moments that need music
- Processional — as the family enters
- A reflection or slideshow moment
- A ritual moment, if the service includes one
- Recessional — as everyone leaves
When the person's taste doesn't fit a "funeral song"
Plenty of people loved music that doesn't sound like it belongs at a service — classic rock, hip hop, show tunes, honky-tonk country. You're allowed to use it anyway. An acoustic or instrumental version of a song they loved often threads the needle: recognizable enough to mean something, gentle enough to fit the room.
Consider something written for them specifically
Traditional hymns and familiar favorites will always have a place at a service. But some families find that a song written specifically about their person — using their real name, their real stories, the things only their family would know — creates a different kind of moment than a familiar song can. That's the idea behind Their Life Song: an original tribute song built from the memories a family shares, meant to be played at the service and returned to for years after.